Self Love: To My 16 Year Old Self


I watched a heartwarming  video on Teen Vogue’s website of Tracee Ellis Ross talking to her 18 year old self, since she has just graduated high school. In the article, the writer, Jessica Andrews, says that Tracee is “one of those rare actresses who feels like your best friend in your head, even if you’ve never had the pleasure of meeting her in person.” It’s weird but I can identify with that in a non-stalker kind of way. lol

In the video, she tells her 18 year old self a few things that are worth noting:

  • Love and relationships aren’t going to be what you expect. Finding a relationship is not the be all and end all. Finding a love for yourself and creating that relationship is the most important one.
  • Heartbreak hurts but it does pass.
  • There will be parts of your body that you are not fond of. You can love those parts of you, even if you don’t like them.
  • Things go slower than you think they should. Trust it.
  • There is no right way to do your life, so the goal is to make friends with yourself.

I was moved by the video and so I am writing my own letter to my 16 year old self (since that’s when I graduated high school).

Me at 16

Dear Cherise,

You are 16 and you are going to be venturing out into the world. Here are a few things that I want to say to you.

  • I know you have an inherent need to help people. Just know that there are a lot of people who will take advantage of that. Remember that in taking care of others, you also need to take care of yourself.
  • Don’t be so worried about what people think of you. No matter what you do, people are going to talk. Just be kind and do good and try not to be affected by negative comments.
  • Stay positive. Being optimistic is one of your greatest qualities. Always try to see the good in everyone and everything. There will be times when it is difficult but those times will be the most important.
  • Failure is inevitable. You may be afraid of it, but some of the most successful people have failed in very public ways.
  • Do what makes you happy.
  • Live in the moment. Stop obsessing over the past and worrying about the future. Prepare for the future but live for now and enjoy the present. Life is for living.



Here’s Tracee’s video.



What would you tell your younger self?






3 thoughts on “Self Love: To My 16 Year Old Self”

  1. I think there would be an epistle to myself. With a few ‘to be continued’ not quite endings. Definitely I would include
    ‘Niquet- the whats sposed to happen by what age thing- not good. It’s ok to set long term goals, and have an idea of where u see your self in 5 or 10 years. But it’s ok if you don’t meet Mr Right in college, get married, first child and house by 30. It’s ok to be single at 31. No house, no child. Life is more than that. And chances are, (knowing what I know now) you’d be miserable!’
    I could go on, but’ ‘to be continued’


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